


Where a Shadow Once Was.

by Zanarkxnd



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bakery and Coffee Shop, Break Up, Comfort/Angst, Drabble, I DONT MAKE THE RULES, I feel like Zed will always wear suits in public, I headcanon that Zed has a sweet tooth, Kayn's in his feelings, M/M, Modern Era, Post-Break Up, Short & Sweet, Zed just wants him back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28881108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zanarkxnd/pseuds/Zanarkxnd
Summary: Kayn tries to keep himself grounded, tries to look in the mirror and tell himself that he’s ok. Instead of the security he seeks, he finds himself swimming in and out of the tide.Kayn lives in two different worlds… and he’s trying to merge the two together.
Relationships: Shieda Kayn & Zed, Shieda Kayn/Zed
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Where a Shadow Once Was.

**Author's Note:**

> First fic on this account woohoo!
> 
> I needed to get my creative juices flowing, and what better way to do that than to write some angst >:). I adore the Ked/Zayn(?) ship so much, almost as much as Settphelios(which I will be writing in the future). This is just a little drabble I wrote to get into the writing mood. Super short and to the point. I was exploring different emotions and dialogue in this and I had a ton of fun writing it. Please enjoy!

“I can’t keep meeting you here.” The words exit Kayn’s mouth as Zed walks up to him, a bitter taste being left behind. He knows the words are falling on deaf ears, his actions making it clear that he had shown up too early and was _waiting_ for Zed.

There’s a small interruption as miniscule noises spread around him. The clink of a cup, the shuffle of a pair of feet, the sizzle of an espresso machine. 

The quiet aroma of a latte; Kayn thinks it tastes kind of flat today.

The black haired male knows the place too well—he thinks—and he doesn’t have to lift his head up to skim over the area to know what’s being played out right in front of him.

He also knows the male across from him—too well—and he wishes that he didn’t. Zed takes a seat across from Kayn, his chair aching against the marble floor as he pulls it. Hard cedar wood clashes against the shining reflection of the floor. Kayn’s already ordered two cups of coffee for them; one americano and one pistachio latte. 

Surprisingly, Zed’s the one with the sweet tooth.

“Yet, you’re here, bright and early.” The defensiveness in Zed’s voice is evident as he stares at his former lover. Another ring of the bell above the cafe door breaks through his words.

“You’re so full of yourself. It’s fucking ridiculous.” There’s another cessation, and Zed bites the inside of his cheek when Kayn practically spits the words out. His hands twitch against the small porcelain cup holding his latte.

“Maybe you’re right, Kayn.” He can hear a waitress almost spill a cup of coffee from the other side of the cafe, loud shrieks, nervous laughter and apologies soon to follow.

With so many things woven together, what can be waiting where the threads meet?

“Why did you call me here?” Kayn questioned.

Zed breaks eye contact to lean back in his chair, legs and arms folded tight. He closes his eyes and breathes out slowly, a force of habit, when he didn’t want to hear the answer to his question. “Where have you been lately?” He challenged Kayn.

“I told you that I’d be away most of the time. Shit, I don’t even have the time to _piss_ in private because of this new celebrity status. You think this only affects you in _our_ relationship?” Kayn’s eyes grow huge, rage flashing over earthy brown before flashing away. He jerks his head to the side to stare out the window, muddled condensation blankets the glass.

“No, Kayn, I knew this would be hard for the both of us. But did you see me complaining when you didn’t contact me for two _whole months_?”

“Did you see _me_ complaining when you suddenly went to Akali for everything? I had to hear from _her_ that you were in the hospital! _The hospital,_ Zed?!” Kayn immediately bites back, his eyebrows downcast so far that harsh shadows are created on his face. Zed hates the way it looks.

It’s funny how Zed grimaces at this, lips downcast and eyes harsh. Back then, Kayn used to crave Zed’s small smiles. He craved how quickly Zed would become pliant in his hands. He craved everything, and Zed _gave him_ everything. Now Zed sits there across from him, face as somber as stone. Kayn tries to keep himself grounded, tries to look in the mirror and tell himself that he’s ok. Instead of the security he seeks, he finds himself swimming in and out of the tide.

Kayn lives in two different worlds… and he’s trying to merge the two together. “I don’t think confiding in a friend is the same as ignoring your boyfriend.” Zed recreates the venom in his own voice, the nights of him laying alone staring at his phone fresh in his mind. “I was _busy_.” Is the only thing that exits Kayn’s mouth.

“You’ve been _busy_ for multiple months. Kayn, I feel like I’m competing with everyone else for your time.” There’s hurt in Zed’s words, hurt that Kayn can practically taste in the air. “And I feel like I’m competing with everyone else for your attention and suddenly you’re not calling me anymore and telling me how much you need me and that _terrifies me_ because I don’t know if you really _need me_ anymore. You seem to be doing perfectly fine without me.” Kayn’s words are jumbled, much like his thoughts. Zed glares, muted brown meeting brown. He sighs before bringing his cup of coffee to his lips, taking his first sip since he’s gotten there.

It’s cold.

“I’m disappointed that you think I’m ‘doing fine on my own’. I might be confiding in other people about things, but I want us to be first.” There’s a slight plea in Zed’s voice, a soft beg that creeps out gently through his words. He didn’t come to just argue.

The rain picks up outside, heavy splats pound on the windows next to them.

Kayn’s head is also pounding. “So, why did you call me so urgently then? You know my schedule is packed.” Their eyes lock in an unwavering moment, and Zed—who has never asked for anything in his life—asks for too much.

“Will you quit being a model?” Zed knows, he can tell by the way Kayn answers him with chuckles void of amusement that he’s asking for too much.

But Kayn is also asking for too much _from him_ as well.

They’re both selfish, and they _know_ it.

“So essentially, what you’re telling me is that we can’t be together unless I quit? Is that what you’re fucking telling me Zed?”

Silence.

“Essentially.” Zed voices through dry lips, and Kayn wants to scream. “Why can’t you just be happy for me? Why do I have to quit doing something I love, Zed?” Zed’s eyes grow sharp, the anger on his face is evident from a mile away. He keeps his lips shut tight.

The bell of the front door to the cafe rings, multiple people filtering in with smiles and laughs as they close their umbrellas. Zed feels as if he’s a mile away from them. Kayn knows deep down that Zed craves physicality, craves the gentle touches and warm embraces that Kayn gave him.

He also wonders if Zed will eventually find someone better than him while he’s miles away.

“I’ve got to go.” Zed looks down at his watch, sharp and crisp like his suit. He didn’t mean for this to go on longer than 30 minutes, but Kayn always was one to waste his time. He brings a hand up to push through his bangs, silver strands stained with dark brown at the roots.

Kayn practically gawks at him. “You’re lying.”

Zed ignores his cry and stands up to place a bill on the table. He tries to pull away, but he’s stopped by Kayn’s hand gripping him tightly. Kayn whispers, “I’m not going to call again.” He wishes it was a bluff.

Zed feels a sharp pain in his hand and watches as Kayn digs his fingers into his knuckles, tanned skin straining red. “If you walk out of that fucking door, Zed..” Kayn’s eyes are as wide as saucers, and as much as he wishes he could hide it, his chest jerks with a sob that fumbles out of his mouth.

The older male pauses with his back towards Kayn. He doesn’t turn around, and Kayn watches as the woven wool of Zed’s suit shifts under his tensing muscles. 

When Kayn licks his lip, the air feels dry.

“I…” Kayn starts.

“Don’t.” Zed groused.

Kayn’s vision of Zed is fading. He can feel it crumbling; falling away from beneath his feet.

Zed doesn’t want to turn around, he doesn’t know if seeing Kayn—vulnerable and open—will agitate or alleviate his heart. “Goodbye Kayn.” Zed finds himself saying the words before he can filter them, and he also finds himself turning around to plant a kiss on Kayn’s forehead. Zed gets a whiff of vanilla aftershave and his own husky cologne.

Kayn _still_ smells like him.

The shorter male leans into the touch with his eyes closed, warmth blanketing his face and before he can open his eyes he feels it vanish. In an instant, he’s bloodshot and frantic as he watches the front door shut with another ding. He watches as Zed disappears through a crowd of people, down the street…

and around the corner. “Would you like a refill of your coffee sir?” He hears a sweet voice, and he laughs dryly as he stares at his cup.

It’s completely full.

Kayn looked to Zed for certain things, things that he had aspired to be. It wasn’t until two years later that Kayn realized he didn’t _need_ Zed’s smile.

The rain falls outside of the cafe window, a faint fog holds its breath.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and Kudos are much appreciated. ❤️️


End file.
